Since I don't have a tele, I didn't catch the "World Wide Premier" of Lady Gaga and Beyonce's video for Gaga's new song, Telephone! Actually, did anybody stay up to watch it on Friday night? If you haven't, immediately direct your fingers to YouTube and look for it! Yes now...
I watched Kill Bill 2 this past weekend and Inglorious Basterds last week and I'm generally a sheep for Quentin Tarantino, so when I heard that she had some help from him for this 9 minute long video, I knew it was gonna be gravy like only Tarantino can serve it. Lady Gaga first appears between the arms of two dykish prison guards, dressed in a body suit cum-prison suit that's got the black and white horizontal stripes but is of course, cut like a cozzie with exaggerated pointed sholders. The hardly arresting warders walk her down a prison isle to the whistles and heckles of gaudily dressed prison hoes in McQueenesque heels and Gallianoesque make-up.
Gaga slips a come-back for her critics because when the warders throw her in her cell and strip her of her clothes, one of them says "Told you she ain't got a dick". Lol. I'm not going to transcribe the video when you can just watch it but there were many a moment that I happily swallowed in the name of good styling and delicious tongue in cheekery.
My favourite moments include a pair of literally SSSSSMOKING Ciggie Specs - glasses that are made from lit cigarettes that she wears when she first enters the prison grounds! The other prisoners skeef her out but the hottest butch goes for her and they right there and then start making out while the butch's hand wiggles its way in between her thights. That was seriously hot. I'm the first to admit my asexuality when it comes to being turned on by what pop culture defines as sexy, but that was seriously hot.
Then in another scene she channels Madonna in her days of " Desperately Seeking Susan " and in another, wears hair curlers made out of fizzy drink cans. So crass and yet to cool.
The dancing is mental, there are groups and groups of people dressed in psychotic outfits, gyrating and commanding the viewers attention, while Lady Gaga is perfectly pinpointed against the various backdrops of these dancers in exciting outfits. In one, she's wearing a blue telephone hat, in the other she's wearing a huge pirate hat looking one and in the other she's got yellow and blonde curls pleading innocentia.
Beyonce's milky image is sexily tainted by her almost saying Motherfucker and of course, her playing the lesbian (is it lover?) who rescues Gaga from prison, helps her commit mass murder and drives off into the sunset in but my favourite vehicle - Tarantino's PUSSY WAGON from Kill Bill 1!
In case you have not seen it, I won't spoil it by spilling anymore.
Look out for lines like "Once you kill a cow, you gotta make a burger"!
Ahhhhiiii! Love it!
pics from The Guardian